The kid has a point...

I'm explaining to the boys that I won't be at football practice because I have to practice for the Alumni game.

Ethan: "So are they paying you to go back and cheer?"
Me: "Definitely not... But I do get a T-shirt"
Ethan: "So you're going to cheer at a high school game ... even though you're not in high school...all for just a T-shirt?? I wonder what kind of things you would do for $1,000?"

All week this kid was on me about this Alumni game and why I would do such a thing.  You can't explain nostalgia to a 9 year old. They think fart bubbles in the bathtub are hilarious.

Pretty cool though. One cheerleader was the class of 1972.  We had 2 (including my best friend) who are within 2 months of delivering a baby.  We toasted on the track and felt old together.  And eventually we felt tired. And sweaty.

One day, we will be too old for this. But today is not that day.

It's a boy! Or 3, rather.

I guess being the mom of 3 boys, I knew I should expect snips and snails and puppy dog tails and all of that. What I didn't prepare for was that anything quickly becomes a science experiment, dirt and mud everywhere, a stroller is a go cart, buying band-aids in bulk, eating more pizza than I ever wanted to, seeing every episode of Spongebox Squarepants approx. 39 times, boogers and burps, attempting to work an xbox when my video game knowledge stops with Super Nintendo, cleaning tomato soup off the walls, stitches and stitches again, getting hit in the head with flying objects whilst driving a minivan late to school, practice, or grandmas, and hearing "I love you, Mom" 100 times a day between the 3. I love you, my boys. I can't wait to embarrass the heck out of you in high school.

JUST SAY NO: To Junk Pictures.

Here's my public service announcement of the month. I'm not sure why this is still happening. The internet has been around a while and I don't know if the girls are just not wanting to hurt feelings or if men are not reading the memo correctly, but I will just let ALL THE MEN KNOW that we don't want photos of your junk. Never. In any situation. Not one of my friends have ever been admittedly aroused by a picture of junk. I know. I've asked. Unless we are directly benefiting from junk AT THE MOMENT, It doesn't do anything for us. It just doesn't. Men are visual. Women are whatever the opposite of visual is. Trust me, your junk pictures are not turning us on. They are making us laugh. They are giving us good conversation with our girl friends, they are allowing us to compare our mental inbox of junk pictures we've acquired since dial up internet. But they are not doing anything for us, otherwise. I know you're probably sitting there reading this and thinking 'But MY JUNK is special.' It's not. I promise. Not in a house, not with a mouse. Not on a train, not with a vein. Not if it's the size of an Oak Tree. Not even if your junk is Neil Diamond serenading me with Sweet Caroline, personally. Stop the madness. Just say no to junk photos.

 ( My grandma could one day purchase a computer and learn out to use the internet and find this blog, so I can't, obviously, post a real junk picture, but you all understand).

The Reproductive System - Full House Style

So this morning's discussion was about how babies are born:
Mason: "I'm pretty sure the cut the belly and take them out and it's all bloody and gross"
Maddox: "No way, they don't cut anything. The mom pushes really hard and breaths heavy and sweats a lot and a baby just pops out of the belly button. Believe me, I saw it on Full House."

I really need to start pre-screening their full house episodes.

Pure. Evil.

The boys are at a stage where they all love to tattle on each other. Seriously, it's like TMZ every day.

 Well, we were grocery shopping the other day and they were piling up the information.

"Mason called me a Bully."
"Maddox was acting like a Bully."
"Ethan refused to help me fix my toy, etc".

Then, Ethan said "Maddox said that Matt was 'Pure Evil'.

  I snapped around and said "What?!"

And Ethan said "This morning. Maddox told us Matt, (my fiancé) was Pure Evil."

I turned on Maddox and immediately started lecturing him on saying things about grown ups and respecting your elders and calling someone evil is a very mean thing and on and on I went in the middle of Kroger. He tried to interrupt me numerous times and I just got more and more upset and finally I was like "WHY Would you even SAY that!!?"

And a little frustrated RED face screamed up at me "BECAUSE HE ATE THE LAST WHITE DONUT!!!" I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing but finished up calmly and waited until he walked away before cracking up!

Kids are funny, man.