This is how I know...

Do you know how I know I've had a great life? Because I can't count how many times diet coke has come out of my nose from laughing hard after a drink... 

It's the...thought that counts

 

So a co‐worker  is about to become a grandmother for the first time. A month ago when she found out it was a boy, I picked up this really pretty and intricate snow globe from Hallmark that plays the most beautiful tune. Inside a little boy praying. I gave it to her today and she unwraps it and pulls it out of the box and...the boy is headless and its head is as the rolling around at the bottom as it spins and plays a lovely tune. Not a good effect. 

Mute is your friend.

Lesson of the day: If you dial into a company wide conference call at lunch,

remember to mute your phone before you speak freely for 5 minutes...

Pinky and The Brain

While we were sleeping the twins went around and unscrewed the light bulbs in the hotel room. I'd like to be clued in on their master plan to take over. 

Tiger's Blood.

I knew when I downloaded that Charlie Sheen ringtone that one day it would go off during a client meeting and yet I did nothing to prevent it!?!

Kids. Pffft.

Ethan: "Mommy. Aren't you on a diet? How can you drink Coke?"

Me: (annoyed) "Because it's DIIIIEEET Coke.. you can drink it on a diet."

Ethan: "Oh ok....... So...is that diet chocolate that you're eating?"

I have a dream.

I had a dream last night that I was on Capitol Hill having a very important meeting with members of the House where I made them all see eye to eye about the important issues and saved the country from partisan misery. It was awesome. Then we got a keg and celebrated. John Boehner doing a keg stand...classic!