CONGRATULATIONS! ITS TWINS!

I was making the appointment to register Maddox and Mason for Kindergarten and when I told her it was for my twins she got very excited and said "Twins?!? Congratulations!!!" I laughed so hard for a few minutes and then apologized and said "I'm sorry. I haven't been congratulated like that for giving birth to twins in 5 years."

Without missing a beat she said "I meant for surviving the past 5 years!!"

I laughed so hard I cried :)

It's like they know me or something...

Me: "Boys...would you like spaghetti and meatballs for dinner?"
Mason: "No. I don't want Spaghetti-Os"
Me: "No, I'll make REAL Spaghetti and REAL meatballs like grandma makes."
Mason: "So YOU will be cooking this? So our smoke alarm will be going off all night?"

Revenge.

It's gotten to the point where I lay awake in the morning waiting for the boys to wake up. I'm going to wait a couple more years until they really love their sleep and I'm going to start going into their room at 7 AM telling them I'm hungry, or that I had a nightmare. Or ask how a can opener works or tell them Matt kicked me and he needs to be in trouble now. I might yell the spongebob theme song at the top of my lungs or turn the TV up on the highest volume. The point is, I'm planning my revenge for all these years and its going to be AWESOME!

Corporate America is no place for hugs!

Corporate America is no place for hugs! Just a little quick story for you out there who wonder if maybe you're not hugging enough at work. A few years ago, I worked at a Fortune 100 company with a lot of very professional, successful people. I could tell because a great many of them are rude and had sticks up their...ANYWAY - a few were VERY great to work for and one was a director that was great - His name was Tony. And one day, Tony came back from a trip and stopped by my cube-cell, and he talked about his trip for a minute and I was standing up. Well the cube-cell was small and he leaned forward, for what unfortunately too late, I realized he was reaching for the stapler but I assumed in my naiveté was a hug. So I hugged him. And it was awkward. Really awkward because I realized he was holding the stapler behind my back and there was uncomfortable shoulder patting going on. I just stood there looking stupid, no words coming out, after we separated. He turned wordlessly and walked away. I was so mortified. My cheeks still burn when I think about it. So in case you ever wonder if that person is going in for a hug, they are not. They are reaching for the stapler. It only looks like a hug because your cube space is small and you're both standing up. I waited all day for HR to call my phone that day and fire me for sexual harassment, but it didn't happen. Still, a valuable lesson was learned that day. Even now handshakes seem a little too personal after that. Can we bring forward a corporate high-five? Or professional handshake.

Santa Who?

My grandma: "They are almost 4 years old‐ what do you mean you haven't told them who Santa Claus is?!?"

Me: "Well I've been screaming at them for 3 straight years...the subject never came up!"

It's just an easier conversation to have...

Ethan: "Mom, do our bodies go to heaven too? Or just our souls?"

Me: "...Did I ever tell you where babies come from?" 

Good Morning. I guess.

Woke at 7am: Maddox and Mason woke up in the middle of the night and had themselves a party downstairs. It was like The Hangover for Babies. Flooded my kitchen, took out all
kitchen appliances plugged them into various outlets around the house, tried to microwave
unmicrowavable items, ate half a large can of lemonade powder, ran the vacuum for a few hours, oven and stove on, cut Masons hair and more...