Rabbit! Rabbit!

When I was kid, Nickelodeon used to tell us on the last day of the month that ‘Tomorrow is Rabbit! Rabbit! Day’ which means you were supposed to wake up and the first words out of your mouth should be ‘Rabbit, Rabbit’ for 31 one days of Good Luck. (Raise your hand if you remember this.) I ALWAYS think of this on the last day of the month because I’m superstitious. I have not ONCE remembered to say it the next morning which means I have 18 years of attempted and failed Rabbit! Rabbit! Days. So whatever you did wrong today, you’re still okay. You didn’t fail roughly 216 times. Keep on keepin’ on…

The Pretenders...

This is what I hear a lot.  ‘So-and-so pretends to have a perfect life on facebook.’  I hear this with my friends. I hear it on the radio. I read about it in blogs.  This ‘pretending’ that we are supposedly doing if we’re happy and we show it.  That irritates me.  I KNOW people probably say that about my posts.  I can hear them in my head.  They think I’m one of the pretenders.  I post photos of my kids all the time.  I post happy stories. I am a photo freak (just ask my muchly-annoyed family) and I am constantly posting about our everyday events and activities, which I’ll even admit is a little ‘Walton-Mountain’.  And we appear happy and loved and still I KNOW people will say that I’m  a pretender. A fake.  But you’d be wrong to think that. 

Here’s something that happened. A few years ago, I posted a quote that I found.  And it was something like ‘Loneliness is failed solitude.’  Or something along those lines, I can't even remember. And I received no less than 10 phone calls in the next 24 hours, not including texts, from friends and family members who were concerned about this insignificant Pinterest quote that I liked.  It was not a reflection of anything I wanted to say or passive-aggressively nod to anyone personally.   It was just a quote.  But it was different because it was negative and people were not used to that from me.  And that felt good because I realized 2 things.  

The first was that there are many people who care about what’s going on with me and who don’t like me to be upset.  And that was pretty awesome.

The second thing was that I realized because I DON’T post negative things all the time or post about my daily annoyances and irritations, the moment I DID post something that could have been considered negative – it alarmed people that something was wrong.  Because it never happens.  

It’s so strange that I would post something like that, someone literally saw it and called me at 1AM that night.  The next day, calls at 7, 9, and 10am and throughout the day.   People were concerned, or curious, and that was so strange to me. Because, in my mind, I was just ...‘liking a quote.’

I'll say this. If I have given anyone the impression that my life is perfect, let me clear it up quick. I’m just as bad as anyone.  I scream at my kids more than I should.  I’ve been laid off.  I’ve been so broke, I didn’t know how I was going to make it.  I have to fit into a Bridesmaid dress in 3 weeks that is one size too small and I'm freaking out about it! I have been sad and angry and even rarely bitchy. Just like you. Just like anyone.   I go to God with those issues, not facebook.

I want to remember the way my boys put their arms around each other for a picture.  I want to remember the silly things that they say later.  Facebook has been a journey of their young years and recording what they’ve accomplished (and what I have survived!)  I want to remember the way Matt and I looked with chop stick walrus faces in a Sushi restaurant.  I’m not 'bragging' about these things. If I never got another ‘like’ or comment in my life, that’d be fine with me.  I appreciate the encouragement that you all give me and I love my friends and family.  I’m not ‘pretending’ to be happy.  I’ve worked really hard to be happy.  And I really, truly am.   No pretending here…